14 Unconventional Ways to Show Appreciation That Deeply Resonate

For the person who swept me off my feet, I privately kept a 12 month memory ledger. Three times each month I’d jot down what they said or did that helped ease a difficult day, made me laugh or simply enriched my life in some tangible way. Then on December 31st I printed them all out, stuck them in a simple black binder and handed it to him during dinner on an ordinary Tuesday at 7:15 p.m. There was no occasion. Nothing remarkable about the date. No big declaration. Nope. That book cost me less than $18 to make but it made a colossal impact because every line demonstrated I had been listening over the course of time, rather than reacting during one intense moment.

It worked because of the particulars. See, people hear compliments all day every day but they rarely receive proof. “You talked to me for 42 minutes after work when I was exhausted from the busiest week of my life,” means something because it attaches kindness to an actual happening, an actual day and an actual emotion. Details like that add depth to your gratitude. It communicates, “I remember who you were on normal days” and that means more than any elaborate meal or token gift ever could.

I created a one-page playbook named after a person who mattered to me. It captured five principles I had learned from them and five behaviors I committed to practice publicly. I shared it with my leadership circle and credited the person privately, along with one promise to report back on it quarterly.

This playbook resonated with others because it turned admiration into accountability. People often doubt praise because it costs nothing. However, a public commitment costs both reputation and effort. That is why it felt so effective. It showed that their influence had shaped how I operate going forward, not just how I feel in the moment.

Building a startup means you rely heavily on a small number of people who go far beyond their job descriptions, and I’ve learned that appreciation has to go deeper than the usual “great work” message or bonus.

One of the most meaningful gestures I’ve ever done was surprisingly simple. Instead of thanking someone privately, I wrote a detailed “origin story” of their contribution and shared it with the team.

It happened after a particularly chaotic stretch while we were trying to improve how our platform processed complex academic PDFs. One team member quietly spent nights experimenting with a solution that eventually fixed a problem that had been frustrating users for months. When it finally worked, the natural response would have been a quick congratulations in Slack and moving on.

But instead, I wrote a short internal note telling the full story—how the problem started, the dead ends we ran into, the moment their idea shifted the direction, and the impact it had on users. Almost like documenting a small piece of company history.

What surprised me was how strongly it resonated with them. Later they told me it meant more than any bonus they’d received in previous jobs. Not because of the praise, but because their work had been contextualized. It wasn’t just “good job fixing a bug.” It became part of the narrative of how the company improved.

I think that’s why the gesture worked so well. Most appreciation focuses on the outcome—”great work on this project.” But people actually care more about knowing their effort mattered in a larger story.

When you show someone how their work changed the trajectory of a team, a product, or even a small moment in the company’s evolution, it validates something deeper than performance. It shows that what they did will be remembered.

And in fast-moving environments like startups, that kind of recognition sticks with people far longer than the typical thank-you message.

So a few years back, the digital marketing sector started fracturing. Big retainer agencies were losing ground to specialized, independent media buyers. One of my lead buyers had stuck by me through some brutal scaling phases managing millions in ad spend. Most founders would give a cash bonus or maybe a watch to say thanks. I decided to fund his own independent micro-agency instead.

I covered the legal setup, paid his first 3 months of overhead, and signed on as his first client. It probably seemed counterintuitive to push my best talent out the door. But it worked because it aligned perfectly with where our sector is heading. Top-tier fractional talent now operates autonomously.

The gesture resonated because I avoided keeping him tethered to my bottom line. It was an acknowledgment that he had outgrown being an employee and was ready to be an owner in the new digital landscape. We still collaborate constantly today.

I gave my lead developer a full week off with pay specifically to work on an open-source project he’d been contributing to in his spare time for years, with zero expectation that it would benefit our agency.

He’d been spending nights and weekends maintaining this developer tool that thousands of people used, but always felt guilty taking time away from paid work to contribute properly. Giving him company time to do something he genuinely cared about, with no strings attached, meant more to him than any bonus or raise I could have offered.

What made it effective was that it showed I valued him as a person with interests beyond our business, not just as a resource generating billable hours. He came back energized and has been with us for four years since, which is rare in an industry where developers job-hop constantly.

The unconventional part was giving time for something completely unrelated to our work and genuinely meaning it when I said I didn’t expect any business benefit from it.

Instead of a birthday gift or card, I once gave my wife a full day where I had secretly handled every single thing on her mental to-do list. I spent the week before quietly paying attention to everything she mentioned needing to do: scheduling the kids’ dentist appointments, getting the car’s oil changed, returning packages that had been sitting by the front door for two weeks, restocking the pantry items she kept saying we were out of, and booking the vet appointment for our dog she had been putting off.

On the morning of her birthday, I handed her a typed list of everything that was already done. No gifts to unwrap. No dinner reservation. Just a piece of paper showing that for once, the invisible labor she carries every single day had been seen and handled without her having to ask, delegate, or follow up.

She cried. Not because the tasks were impressive individually, but because someone had finally noticed the weight she carries without complaint. She told me later it was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for her, and it cost almost nothing compared to jewelry or a fancy dinner.

I think this gesture resonated so deeply because most appreciation focuses on adding something, a gift, an experience, a compliment. But what she actually needed was subtraction. She needed things taken off her plate rather than more things added to it. The unconventional part was not what I did but the fact that I paid close enough attention to know what needed doing in the first place. That attention is what communicated love more than any object ever could.

I once showed appreciation by canceling my own speaking slot and giving it to someone behind the scenes who had done the hard work. I asked the organizer to keep it quiet until the moment arrived so it would feel genuine. They stepped on stage with no time to overthink, and the room responded with real attention.

Public opportunities are rare, and people remember who opens a door when it matters. It also showed that leadership is not about visibility but about creating space for others to lead. Afterward, they said it changed how they viewed their own voice. That kind of appreciation lasts longer than any thank you note.

At Quiet Monk CBD, we recently demonstrated our appreciation for our longtime partner in a unique way; by creating a custom wellness care package that included some of our favorite tinctures, calming teas, and a handwritten message explaining how much their support meant to us. Rather than sending a standard gift card or generic thank you, we created an experience that was reflective of their lifestyle and values. Because this gesture was so intentional and thoughtful, it made a big impression on them and let them know we were not only thanking them but also that we understood them as a person and valued them on a personal level. After receiving the customized package, they said it made them feel appreciated and seen, which has truly strengthened our relationship and is far more impactful than if we had made them a typical acknowledgment. This experience also taught us that the best ways to show someone we appreciate them often come from thinking outside the box. When a gesture aligns with someone’s interests and demonstrates our true caring nature, it will have an emotional and lasting impact, resulting in increased trust and loyalty in the relationship.

One unconventional way I show appreciation is a brief, intentional one-on-one check in with each team member at least once a month that lasts five to ten minutes. A remote employee recently told me she turned down a higher paying offer because she already feels appreciated and respected here. The gesture is unconventional because it is short and not tied to performance reviews, yet it is consistent and personal. That regular, sincere attention made appreciation feel real and reinforced our commitment to people over formality.

I have found that the most effective way to show appreciation is by removing things from someone’s plate than putting more on it. For example I gifted a key leader on my team a “Decision-Free Day” rather than a gift card or public shout out to give them the opportunity to focus all of their creative energy on an important project they enjoy working on without interruption for 24 hours.

This gesture had a powerful impact because it relieved my team member of the psychological burden of making decisions (decision fatigue) that someone leading in the digital operations space faces on a daily basis. Most of the rewards we typically give to each other add to what is already on our plates, i.e. an event to attend or a physical item to manage, but the removal of a burden of responsibility validates the mental cost of someone’s work. This observation aligns with research conducted at Harvard Business School which finds that “time savings” rewards create significantly higher satisfaction than material rewards.

This act of appreciation demonstrates that we do not just measure an individual’s output, but we also understand the amount of cognitive energy required to produce that output. In a world of constant pings and rapid turnaround, the most valuable thing you can provide your team is silence and focus.

We often forget that the individual who is responsible for driving our digital systems is a human being with a limited amount of cognitive ability. True appreciation comes from viewing what someone has provided versus what you can take off their plate to assist them in being able to take a breath.

One of the most unique ways I have expressed my gratitude is through our “story circle,” an event we hold to celebrate employees’ years at the company. During this time, we shut down the office for 30 minutes, gather outside on the patio of our villa (with snacks like baked goods or coffee), and allow each member of the team to share as many unscripted stories about the employee being honored as they can think of. By replacing a simple birthday cake with these heartfelt stories, it gives us the opportunity to highlight the many times the employee has helped make a difference in their role, which creates a genuine sense of appreciation from the employee’s peers and the employee themselves. The honesty behind the stories can create an emotional response from the employee, making them truly feel appreciated, seen, and valued by their teammates.

One unconventional way I have shown appreciation is by giving a team member full ownership of a project and backing their decisions. Instead of public praise or a bonus, I removed approval bottlenecks and made it clear I would support them if things went wrong. That gesture resonated because it signaled real trust and made them feel valued beyond a title. It also fostered psychological safety, which encouraged honest communication and better outcomes.

One unconventional way I showed appreciation was offering a “Founder’s Edition” garden cabin as a limited crowdfunding reward. For that tier we produced a specific cabin model with exclusive features, a custom engraved plaque bearing the backer’s name and edition number, and a personal letter from our founding team. The gesture resonated because it created a tangible, exclusive connection to our company rather than a generic thank you. By limiting the number produced, backers felt they owned a piece of our company’s history, which made the appreciation feel meaningful and lasting.

One unconventional way I showed appreciation was writing a handwritten note detailing specific moments where someone made a difference. It wasn’t tied to an event or holiday, just genuine recognition. It resonated because it was thoughtful and unexpected. Taking the time to put words on paper made it feel personal and intentional, which carries more weight than a quick thank you.